Move beyond your ego
Monday of the Second Week of Advent
Gospel: Lk 1:26-38
https://bible.usccb.org/bible/readings/120825.cfm
God seeks to work through all of us, but it’s through those who are truly humble and devout that God’s love is consistently expressed. Our egos get in the way. We can have too low of an image of ourselves or too high. Most of the time, we don’t even realize that we’re doing it. Our ego can drive us to catastrophizing or to thinking that we’re one of the few that knows better than everyone else. We can put full certainty in our world view and not leave space for any doubt or challenge, or we can be overly doubtful. We can believe that we’re the one who needs to provide and care for others or overly lean on the support of others. We can exclusively focus on protecting what we have from the threat of others, or we can be overly generous out of a sense of obligation or to earn the love and attention of others. We can see ourselves as worthless and not try, or not try because we’re afraid that failure will disprove the value we put in ourselves. We all subscribe to these different ways of thinking. Some of us may subscribe more exclusively to certain ones over others, and others of us may bounce around them.
In today’s gospel, Mary provides a good example of going beyond these ego-limited ways of thinking by aligning her will with God’s. She was humble and devout with the trust she put in God. When Gabriel first greeted her, she was confused by the angel’s words. It was hard for her to conceive of the concept of being full of grace, but then she accepted that God has favor with her. God’s favor is God’s emotion, not her own. She accepts God’s perspective of her but still questions the practicality of the situation. Once the angel explains further, she accepts her role fully in the divine dance.
I don’t know about you, but, if I’m being honest with myself, there is a strong part of me that finds it difficult to truly say the words of Mary. The last thing I’d ever want to do is be a servant to anything or give my will up to even God. My own will is where I find my identity and my worth. I even keep my concept of God limited to my perspective, when God is always wanting to show and reveal more.
I am constantly looking at God and saying, “I got this.” But, in truth, I’ve got absolutely nothing without God. Even that part of me that says “I got this” isn’t even possible without God. Our egos are a means of deceiving ourselves and simplifying the narrative to simply being our own, but there is always a bigger narrative with God. To be part of that narrative, we need to accept the fact that there is always more which means we need to be comfortable with our own personal doubt and perspective while we also place our trust in God who will continue to be further revealed to us. It’s not an unknown to be feared, but a mystery to be enjoyed. Open up your heart and mind to let God work through you, don’t close God out with the certitudes of your own will regardless of your intentions. Like Mary, get past your personal intentions and let God in.
